Mass effect, brother!
by Jack something
Summary: Hulk Hogan is tasked with fighting the Geth, destroying Sovereign, and saving everyone. He'll have some help, but he's a real American! His big boot and slams can save the day, because he's the greatest American ever! And that's why the Galaxy needs him!
1. Chapter 1

It was years after people finally made it to Mars, discovering lots of things, such as protheans and technology. The technology made things better for ships and people.

But then the Geth came, and they were acting like jerks to several colonies. Now, The Normandy fly's through the stars to give aid to a colony that had requested such help.

Joker was flying the ship, while everyone else was working on the ships stuff. The captain was talking to the new Commander, a man that was proud of his country and felt strong about right and wrong.

"Were glad you came on board, ser. We've been watching the Geth Helplessly while they attacked the colonies. They almost destroyed THIS ship."

"Don't worry, brother." Hulk Hogan said with courage "I'll stop those Geth and I'll save that colony. What are they gonna do, When Hulkamania runs wild on them?"

The whole crew stood up and applauded for the courageous man.

"Your a real American, Hogan! Were all counting on you. Good luck!"

Hogan watched as they landed on the planet, an appauling sight came before him. Bodies that were pierced through so up high, poor birds flew at them and fell.

Hulks thoughts were now on saving, not only this planet, but America.

They landed on the planet, The Hulkster walking on its terrain. Ashley followed him, her hands on her gun. Locked and loaded.

"Commander Hogan! Don't you think you need a gun?"

Hogan turned to her and smiled his handsome smile "sister, when your Hulk Hogan you don't need a gun. Just your bare hands."

Ashley nodded with understanding.

They searched the place for Geth, ready to destroy some mean machines. But they heard a weapon fired off in the distance "what was that?" Ashley said.

"It sounded like someone shot their pistol on a still man. We should hurry and see if everything is okay."

The two ran toward the sound, when they were stopped by these robot like men, there head only a glowing and pearing eye.

"Its time to stop, Hogan." They commanded, guns aimed at the legend.

"Hulk Hogan don't stop for no one, Brother!"

Hulke ran at them, they were shaking with fear "He is too strong! Just by the sight of his muscles, we feel fear!"

Hogan gave them a big boot to the commanding Geths face, destroying it and the others when it exploded.

"Oh yeah! HulkaMania just ran wild on you!"

Hogan and Ashley went forward, upon an export station that was still. There was blood on its cold steel floor, it was Turrian blood. When they saw the body, it was the Spector Turrian!

"What happened?" Ashley said, indistrut.

From behind the box, a devilish figure came from hiding. He gave The Hulkster some bad feelings.

"Saren?" Ashley said "what are you doing here?"

The pale turrian looked at them, a snarl across his lip. He even gave Hogan a bad look.

"I... I came because I was worried about you humans, thinking you might ruin everything like you people do."

"That's where your wrong, Saren!" Hulk Hogan yelled "and your lyin'! I can tell a liar when I see 'em Brother! Your one of them!"

Ashley was confused. Saren is a Spector. But she trusted Hogan, he always told the truth. Because he's a true American. That's how he also knows a liar from a truthful man.

"Alright, swine! I killed him! Yes! Now, why don't you deal with these Geth."

He ran off, more Geth coming out of the boxes.

"Oh no!" Ashley cried "he's getting away!"

"He may get away from us today," Hogan said " but no one can escape Hulkamania!"

Hulk Hogan grabbed the arm of a Geth and slammed it on the other Geth, destroying them into pieces and pieces. They chased after Saren, trying to hurry after a man with the intent of destroying earth.

Ashley saw him in his space craft, flying away. She fired her weapons at him, but the fire did nothing against the hardness of the space ship. She gave up and cried, Hulk Hogan putting her head on his shoulder.

"Don't worry, sister. We'll get that snake. And we'll show him the American way of justice. And then we'll go out for ice cream and beer."

The two went back to the Normandy, The Hulkster gave some coordinates to Joker "we need to head to the citadel, brother. I gotta give those Spector's some news."

Joker nodded with respect and steered the ship towards the Citadel.

Mean while, hogan had to make a visit to doctor Chakwas.

"Oh Hogan, I wish you'd stop running towards your enemies like you do. The wound you have is just a scrape. But it could of been worse!"

Hulk Hogan laughed it off and said "Chakwas, I've faced more then this. Like in Wrestle mania, when I had to fight Andre the Giant! It was a challenge that I didn't know if I'd win, but I won that thing and I showed the people who was champ!"

Chakwas giggled and hugged Hogan "oh, Hulk. You always know what to say."

Hulk had his wound patched up and made his way to his cabin, where he sat in his desk and looked at the picture of his family back on earth.

"Don't worry kids, dads gonna be home as soon as he slams Saren and the Geth."


	2. Chapter 2

They arrived on the citadel, there ship landing in the docks. Hogan looked around to see the impressive place. Anderson and Ashley got off the ship too.

"Soon, we will have to tell the council about Sarens betrayal." Anderson said.

"Your right, brother. But I gotta head to the pharmacy."

Anderson nodded and went off to the council place. Kaiden Alanko came off the Normandy and greeted Hulk Hogan.

"We never got to meet, I'm Kaiden. I wish I would of went to Eden prime with you, but I was too busy. Its an honor to meet the real American!"

Hogan shook his hand and gave him a great grin "nice to meet you too, Alenko. I'm glad I can get more help."

They walked to the pharmacy, it had medicines for everyone. But there was a turian outside of it, he was an officer.

Hogan walked up to him, and said "what's going on in there, brother?"

The Turian officer sighed and shook his head "some thugs went in there and are trying to distort the nurse for money and drugs."

The Hulkster became angry. If thugs wanna take money, then they take the money they earn from hard work. And if they want drugs, then it'll be for when Hulkamania runs wild on them!

He ran in there and saw the thugs bullying the nurse. "Don't take the money for starving children! I saved up for that!" She cried.

"Lady, we want money. We don't care about starving kids."

That thug got the big boot, falling to the floor. The other Thugs looks frightened and saw it was Hulk Hogan!

The nurse jumped up and down and said "oh! Its Hulk Hogan!"Hogan punched another thug in the face "your gonna need some ice, Brother!"

One came at him with a knife, but The Hulkster grabbed his arm and flew him out the window.

Another tried to shoot the Hulkster, but he didn't know that Hogan had back up. Kaiden used his bio powers to slam the thug to the ground.

The nurse hugged Hogan and said "thank you for saving me and the money for starving children!" Hogan hugged her back "its alright, sister. I'm just doing what a real American would do."

She kissed his cheek as another way of saying thanks.

Hogan brightened up and remembered why he came to the pharmacy.

"Miss, I need some blood pressure pills."

The nurse nodded and went to get his pills.

The Turrian officer came up to Hogan "your amazing, Hogan! I'm Garrus. I wish I could of done that! I wish to join you on your mission to stop Saren."

The Hulkster welcomed him aboard and the four of them walked to the council place, but were stopped by the sight of a helpless quarian teen. "I'm not giving you the information!" She said.

The mean looking man pulled out his gun and said "Saren need that information. Your going to give it or else."

"Or else what, brother?"

The man looked to see Hogan and some others, including the officer Garrus! They stood before the criminals, and watched them.

"This doesn't concern you, people."

"If its talk about Saren, then it makes me concerned, brother."

"Just let it slide, buddy." The man said.

Hogans knuckles cracked "I gotta be a man. I can't let it slide."

He gave an uppercut to the criminal, and saw the others come after him. But the quarian threw her bomb at them and defeated them.

Hogan looked at the quarian girl, she shook his hand. "Its nice to meet you, Hogan. I'm Tali. I was on my journey of teen hood when I found Geth who had information on Saren."

"That's Great, sister! We may be able to use your help! Are you interested?"

She nodded. "If I can stop the Geth from tormenting people, then yes."

They went to the council, and saw Anderson and Udina pleading to the council to accept that Saren has abandoned spectership.

"We need evidence." The council said.

Hogan and Tali stepped forward, and Tali played the information she had from the Geth. "Hulk Hogan just brought evidence."

The information played and it appalled the council.

"It was fun inslaving people on eden prime. And sicking my Geth on them too." Saren said, laughing.

Then, there was a woman on there too "yes. It was impressive. Especially how you ran from The Hulkster."

"That sounded like the Asari Matriarch!" One of the council said.

The woman laughed. That was it.

The council spoke silently to each other. But came to a conclusion. "Hogan, since you have fought Saren and his Geth before, and proven his guilt, we would like to make you a specter."

Hogan thanked them, and said "I'll bring Saren some Hulkamania. Don't worry."

The council applauded.

Anderson gave the keys of the Normandy to Hogan, who looked up to Anderson in surprise. "What's this mean, brother?"

"It means I am no longer allowed to accompany you on the mission. I wish I could, but the council has pulled me back. Politics."

Hogan patted Andersons shoulder "don't worry. I'll get Saren and make him pay."

Hogan and the crew left the citadel and into space. Hulk Hogan had news of a liara T'soni, daughter of the Asari matriarch. She was stuck on mars.

"Set a course to Mars, Joker. We got someone to save."


End file.
